THE LOVE STORY........ ENDS B4 IT BEGINS !

She was a young girl of eighteen,

who lived inside the fortress

guided by the principles,coldness,ego,solitude.

She did not fraternise.

She did not smile.

She exchanged her heart for success.

She became heartless,but took it as a great deal.

She blocked all openings of the fortress walls,

so that the warmth of the sun wouldn't tempt her

to walk on the golden sand,

with open feet,

feeling its warmth.

She lost herself.

She didn't care.

for all she wanted was success.

People appreciated her genius,

she gave a broken smile.

People appreciated her beauty,

she moved off.

Someone knew that she was undergoing a battle within herself.

Someone knew that she was lonely beyond explanation.

That someone tried to teach her 

that life is about achieving happiness,

not success.

She rebuked him,

for he was telling that happiness was 'greater' than success.

She gave him stern looks.

He said she still looked beautiful.

She striked him hard with her staff.

He said he would take all the pain with pleasure

if it made her heart feel any good.

She said "I don't have a heart you fool".

He said  "you do have it, young girl".

The girl didn't say a word.

She moved into a darker world.

He didn't follow her for he had some other business

that actually mattered a lot.

He did the thing no one had ever dared to do before.

He broke open the fortress walls built by her.

He filled the young girl's world with sunrays 

that carried heart touching warmth.

He thought,

with this he had taken all her pains away.

He waited for her at the mansion

for he would surprise her with the changes he had brought,

while she was moving on the endless roads of the dark world.

He waited.

She didn't come.

Atlast he felt something was wrong.

He decided to search for her,

hence started running on the empty roads of the dark world.

He stopped,

for now  he could see the young girl,

sleeping under a thunderstruck tree.

He felt like she had grown more beautiful than ever.

He moved towards the sleeping soul,

removed the strands of wet hair

covering her cheeks hardened with dried tears.

He took her by arms

and started singing a song to wake her.

The song ended with the breaking dawn.

She didn't wake up.

He shook her hard.

He yelled.

His eyes became sore,

for he had shed each drop of tear he had.

He muttered a few words 

in the ears of the dead girl.

And now he lay at the feet of the corpse,

while his soul travelled 

to the far off land where it could find her's.

That rainy night

That rainy night, when I was busy 

drenching myself with the tears of the gloomy sky

and hearing its thundering sobs

in the parking lot,

you came smiling 

with a fat mug of coffee

allowing the rain drops to destroy its strong taste.

"Eh ! enjoying the rain ?" this is just what you said

and I was already glaring at you

with intense hatred and anger.

You offered me the coffee,

but I rudely refused.

It is now that I realise,

it was not just the pleasure 

of having the strong hot coffee in the cold rain,

but much more that I pushed away.

You saw my umbrella lying on the bare road

and tried to collect it ,

but I warned you not even dare to touch the same.

You smiled again

and I kept wandering,

if this was pity or something else.

You slowly slided your fingers into those of mine,

and said this was going to be the best rainy night ever.

And I furiously uncurled my fingers from yours.

You said it was really tough for you 

not to let your eyes drown

into the deep dreamy blue ones of mine,

and I said that was not my problem.

I wanted you to see the aversion,

the storm of hatred in my eyes,

but you ended up in something very different.

You requested me to get into your car

or else I was going to have a really bad cold,

I denied.

For me you were just wasting my time,

forbidding me from the pleasure

of washing away all my wounds, my pain,

in the heavy,icying,unending rain.

All I wanted was to be alone,

and all you wanted was to diminish my pain,

to bring a smile on my face.

Why did not you accept that

I was in no mood of sharing my grief ?

You knowingly remained unknown 

of the odius nature of mine.

You took advantage of my perplexity

and dragged me into the passanger seat.

Gradually my face dried up

and it was now that I realised

that I had been crying,

coz there was no more rain to hide my tears.

I unlocked the door

and was about to leave,

when you again caught hold of my arms.

I looked straight into your eyes 

and yours were already dug into mine.

Now it seemed as if 

time had stopped moving ahead.

Everything had collapsed.

Even the rain drops were hanging in the air.

You gently dried my cheeks

and covered me with the shiny black jacket of yours.

My eyes were still under the attractive pull of your magnetic blacks.

I could sense the shine of humour,of love

in your eyes.

You said my shoes were frowsy

and I said why dont we exchange.

Now that was very stupid I know,

to have exchanged my funky sports shoes

with the formal shiny black boots of yours.

Instead of firing me with questions,

like why I had been avoiding you,

leaving your phone calls unanswered,

not replying your texts,

and many more,

you comforted me with the silence,

the tranquillizing silence

that was in a verge to heal all my wounds.

But suddenly I felt that 

I did not deserve it,

that I did not deserve YOU.

And thus I asked you to drop me

in the same place 

of the parking lot.

You obeyed me quietly this time.

You had no questions.

Perhaps you understood now,

what I actually wanted.

On reaching the same place,

I headed towards my bright red umbrella

and stood beside it.

I closed my eyes and just stood there,

determined not to move

untill the rain would open the pearly gates of heaven for me.

But I ended up just with a dreadly fever.

I did not die.

And now I live.

I live remembering THAT RAINY NIGHT.

A word to my dear Sister

If happiness were baits ,

I would love to beg for you.

If my tears brought you smiles,

I would not mind crying all day long.

If my failure brought you glory,

I would erase the word 'success' from my life.

If my presence suffocated you,

I would happily suffocate myself to death.

But I know

you dont want me to beg, cry or die for you.

All that you want from me 

is to make you proud.

You have never cared 

whether big or small my achievements were.

You just wanted me to succeed,

thats all.

You did not abuse me if I did not excel.

You appreciated my efforts,

always.

I can never repay your love and blessings,

even with a million thanks.

I know nothing would make you more happy

than my promise to work hard,

which leads me to a place so high ,

where we can equally stand.

MY BEST FRIEND

She followed me even in impassable roads,

where there was immense darkness,

and we did not know 

to where it led.

She imbued me with enthusiasm,

when I had lost all hope.

She patiently heard the painful stories my heart narrated.

She had accepted everything,

my imbecility,

my imperious nature,

my mood swings.

She liked me inspite of my imperfections.

I could always feel her presence,

when I suffered from severe emotional disturbance.

She comforted me with the warmth,

when I stood shivering ,out in the rain.

She always filled the air around me

with the fragnance I can not live without.

She does not fear to stir up the hornet's nest ,

when it comes to me.

She is smart ,bold ,passionate.

She is fearless.

She was always there ,

and she will always be.

She was born with my first breath

and SHE is the one i want to live with,

even after my death.

She lives inside my vulnerable heart .

She is my best friend - "ME".

WANT THE CHILD TO GROW ???

In a room lighted by flickering gas lights,

with heavy junked chains fastened round the heart,

prohibiting every single movement of the crying soul

towards the small hole in the stuffed room

from which enters the ray of hope,

you say the child can grow ?

Feeding the creature that does not dare to speak

with unwonted knowledge 

from subjects of your own interest,

you don't stop a moment

and keep stuffing her mouth until she pukes.

Do you think it helps the child grow ?

With an ever pondering mind

filled with doubts,guilt and remorse,

an aching heart that simply wants to stop beating right now,

A screeching soul that is starving from years,

does your intelligent and experienced brain still says

all this pain is kind of supplement for the child's growth ?

The world is wise and you are so.

You'll say who am I to teach you things,

so I better make a 'request'.

let the child move out of that stuffed room

into the thick woods where she can dare to sing her heart.

Let her move on the land of her desire

where she can breathe the air that actually makes her feel alive.

Let her drink from whatever source that quenches her thirst.

Let her dream.

Let her talk.

Let her be human.

Let her "LIVE" atleast for a single day,

and you see how fast the child grows !

The Forgotten Song

A canary chirped inside the golden bars,

fluttering her delicate wings with terrible force

for the divine longing of swimming high in the air.

She has forgotten the song she used to sing in the forest.

She has forgotten the taste of the food she once relished.

She has forgotten her home,her family,her friends.

She no more makes sweet noise.

Her voice reflects her pain,

her voice trembles.

She wants no delicacies to be fed,

no golden cage to live in.

All she wants is to be touched by the warm sunrays,

to see the vast stretch  of blue,

to sing the forgotten song,

in the densest of woods.

She wants to race with her friends ,

to drench herself in the cold rain.

When the little creature sobs,

no good hearts are there to show pity.

People watch the restless bird from far,

and clap,

being gratified by her strange act.

True.

Human have good logic.

They are far more advanced,

to understand the agony of the little bird.

One day,

I see a lifeless yellow creature,

feathers surrounding her ,

gone to the father high above,

to get the answers 

for those numerous questions her mind ever pondered

throught her life ,

though short it was.

Gone is the canary,

and gone with her is the memory of 'The Forgotten Song '.

The longest talk I ever had

Raw and chill was the winter morning,

when he dropped by my house

to ask of my company for a stroll by the woods.

My teeth chattered as I hastened down the stairs,

my toes ignoring the pain,

my eyes gleaming brighter than ever before.

My breath was suspended until i reached him at the door.

I wish I could stand there the same ,

admiring the beauty of his smile

but then he took hold of my chilled fingers 

and led me to the empty frozen road outside,

shining brilliantly ,

though it had been lashed last night.

Little dark though it was,

the lamp that he carried threw light on the gravel road,

sodden by the recent thaw.

As the dawn was about to break ,

we decended the frozen valley,

and comforted ourselves on a fat log,

though little tired our feet were

after the long walk.

I heard a wild wind rushing amongst the trees

breaking the tranquilising silence

capable of making anyone fall in love.

We both let the wind make ghosty noise ,

declaring him the winner of the field

and we engaged ourselves 

in the strange long talk of ours.

Neither of us spoke a word .

His eyes told me enchanting stories

and I guess he was able too

to understand the language my eyes used,

however difficult it was.

We talked and talked ,

and later,

when we had parted our ways,

I realised ,

'It was the longest talk I ever had'.