That rainy night

That rainy night, when I was busy 

drenching myself with the tears of the gloomy sky

and hearing its thundering sobs

in the parking lot,

you came smiling 

with a fat mug of coffee

allowing the rain drops to destroy its strong taste.

"Eh ! enjoying the rain ?" this is just what you said

and I was already glaring at you

with intense hatred and anger.

You offered me the coffee,

but I rudely refused.

It is now that I realise,

it was not just the pleasure 

of having the strong hot coffee in the cold rain,

but much more that I pushed away.

You saw my umbrella lying on the bare road

and tried to collect it ,

but I warned you not even dare to touch the same.

You smiled again

and I kept wandering,

if this was pity or something else.

You slowly slided your fingers into those of mine,

and said this was going to be the best rainy night ever.

And I furiously uncurled my fingers from yours.

You said it was really tough for you 

not to let your eyes drown

into the deep dreamy blue ones of mine,

and I said that was not my problem.

I wanted you to see the aversion,

the storm of hatred in my eyes,

but you ended up in something very different.

You requested me to get into your car

or else I was going to have a really bad cold,

I denied.

For me you were just wasting my time,

forbidding me from the pleasure

of washing away all my wounds, my pain,

in the heavy,icying,unending rain.

All I wanted was to be alone,

and all you wanted was to diminish my pain,

to bring a smile on my face.

Why did not you accept that

I was in no mood of sharing my grief ?

You knowingly remained unknown 

of the odius nature of mine.

You took advantage of my perplexity

and dragged me into the passanger seat.

Gradually my face dried up

and it was now that I realised

that I had been crying,

coz there was no more rain to hide my tears.

I unlocked the door

and was about to leave,

when you again caught hold of my arms.

I looked straight into your eyes 

and yours were already dug into mine.

Now it seemed as if 

time had stopped moving ahead.

Everything had collapsed.

Even the rain drops were hanging in the air.

You gently dried my cheeks

and covered me with the shiny black jacket of yours.

My eyes were still under the attractive pull of your magnetic blacks.

I could sense the shine of humour,of love

in your eyes.

You said my shoes were frowsy

and I said why dont we exchange.

Now that was very stupid I know,

to have exchanged my funky sports shoes

with the formal shiny black boots of yours.

Instead of firing me with questions,

like why I had been avoiding you,

leaving your phone calls unanswered,

not replying your texts,

and many more,

you comforted me with the silence,

the tranquillizing silence

that was in a verge to heal all my wounds.

But suddenly I felt that 

I did not deserve it,

that I did not deserve YOU.

And thus I asked you to drop me

in the same place 

of the parking lot.

You obeyed me quietly this time.

You had no questions.

Perhaps you understood now,

what I actually wanted.

On reaching the same place,

I headed towards my bright red umbrella

and stood beside it.

I closed my eyes and just stood there,

determined not to move

untill the rain would open the pearly gates of heaven for me.

But I ended up just with a dreadly fever.

I did not die.

And now I live.

I live remembering THAT RAINY NIGHT.